Finally

"I'm moving out by early jan 09. I'm giving u back all the air and space in the house that u want all this time. Tq"

That is exactly the text message that I sent out to the person that only find happiness by making me miserables. Decision making comes with responsibility which we had to stick and stand on what we decide. Sooner or later we have to face it.

Sometimes we will never knew what kind of decision that we should take and when we should make it. I'm still shivering but I knew that I should have make this decision long time ago. Happiness belong to ourselves and we should not let others take control of it. We also should not let others take it from us.

I knew deep inside of me, by moving out which means I've decide to move on with my life and take control of my happiness. I'm free to decide where I'm going and do the things that I like. I brace myself to take the one step forward of my life and I will continue stepping forward into the future.

Grateful

This year nearly end and new year will start in a few weeks time

With a few good and lots of bad things happening

I'm feeling grateful

For the choice that I can finally make

After facing countless of searching and rejection

For being able to move on

After all the miserable phase I had to pass through

For being able to let go

After all the heartache and headache I had to swallow and bear

For the friends that still hang out with me

After all they are able and not able to do for me

For the family that still believe in me

After all the distance and time zone that separate us

Sometimes makes me wonder

Is it the time again for me to make the annual reality check

After all it is nearly new year

It could be a turning point for me

To be able to have choices and be able to make a decision

So Sad

I am sad

I am so sad

So sad that I can't speak to anyone

So sad that I dare not think

Or to make any move

Everything looks like against me

Everyone looks like looking the other way

What is there for me

As I'm laying on the floor

Gazing at the bare ceiling

Thinking

I'm losing more than I expected

Why am I losing this much

What is there for me

I can't fore see the future

I'm trying hard to ease my heart

But I'm restless more than I can imagine

I'm trying to gather the courage

From deep inside of me

As I could not really stand it anymore

The Way of Life

It's just the way of life
For you to gain something
You must be able to give up something else
The nature everyone have been following and done

I am part of the nature and life
It's not something that I can run away from
Unless I have the power or immortality
That I can gain everything and lose nothing

Am I ready to give up something
So that I'm able to gain something else
It's a desicion that I need to make
And a decision I need to abide with

For my future and my life
For my day and my night
For my health and my soul
I will make this decision

Judging A Book

You can't help judging a book by it's cover

but never forget the rules

That

You are not the only one

And

Only sometimes you are right

A Bigger Room

I need a bigger room

As my room become smaller

With all the things that I like

And all the things that I want

Still counting the things that I wish

I need a bigger space

As my head become more creative

To accommodate all the ideas in my head

And all the things that I want to do

Still counting the crazy things I can create

I'm smiling as I think

And smiling again as I imagine

Much Better Now

I'm feeling much better now

Much better than before

No more pain

No more stress

No more sickness

I know it's for temporary only

As my allergy went for vacation

But it's enough for me to realize

The source of my allergy

And it's enough for me to realize

The source of my energy

I looked around from where I'm standing

It seems more beautiful than before

The scenery and the life

I should kept as it is

This temporary bliss

I should put an extra effort

To keep a distant from my allergy

So that I can keep on smiling

Downfall Yourself

When the right time comes finally
for your own downfall
So be it as it will be
You don't have to regret it later

Remember that I'm not your downfall
You fall on your own and that is the way it is
So don't drag me down with you
I have my own life to spare

You want people to know me
Based on what you had told them
So be it cause if that is what your wish
There is nothing that I can do

But don't you ever forget
People will knew you too
Based also on what you had told them
Cause I don't have to open my mouth anyway

You can hold on to what ever you want
You can stick to what ever you belief in
You want to be heard and that's you have been doing
You can insist to be heard again and again if that is what you want

And you know that yourself
I don't mind and I don't really care
I live my life my own way and do the things that I like
So downfall yourself and go there yourself