Thursday 27 November 2008

Another Five Days

Been waiting for a while now
Just give a call
May be I'll get the answer

Ok
Just give a call
Hearing the voice from the other end
I still feel some doubt

Ok
Just give a try again
Been asking the same question again
Although my voice reveals some worries
Please call again in five days time
Again I've been told
My heart's drop

Ok
Gaining some strength
I will wait
If that I'm suppose to do

Sunday 23 November 2008

Don't Give Up Yet

Today, my heart is still not at ease
Still got no answer
I've start feeling down
Although I've trying to be patient

Trying to think of another plan
To open for another option
To get another hope
For a different answer

But for the time being
My mind failed to think
My heart failed to react
Like a stone I've become

But deep inside
I know that give up that I must not
Not yet
Because that is not me that I know

Friday 21 November 2008

Question - Created on 18th August 2007

Don't worry about what you can't see
They can do you no harm
Don't complicate life as the world already a complicated place to live in

Don't ask question you already knew
Don't even ask the question
When you only want to hear what you want to hear

Some things are mean to be left alone
Some things are mean to be left unanswered

Closed your eyes and feel with your heart
Deep inside in you
You will realized that
You already knew the answer
It was inside in you the whole time

Don't Pity Me - Created on 18th August 2007

Don't pity me
If it's troubling you
Coz I don't need others to pity me

I can stand on my own
I can live my own life

Don't feel sad for me
If it's troubling you
Coz I don't need others to feel sad for me

I'm not sad about my self
I don't need to feel sorry about my self

Afraid - Created on 11th August 2007

This feeling that I felt for you

Is mine alone
I'm afraid to show
I'm afraid to share

I felt this pain
This pain is so great that I fell on my knees
I stabbed my own heart
This invisible blood that is running through my fingers

Is mine alone
I'm afraid to show
I'm afraid to share

I was lying on the floor and I felt numb all over me
I cried so hard and gasping for my breath
I closed my eyes and felt the coldness of the floor
My heart is beating slower and slower

Is mine alone
I'm afraid to show
I'm afraid to share

I'm listening to my heart's beat and felt the coldness inside of me
I felt the darkness and I felt the hollowness
My fingers' stiffed and I can't even move
My mind's blanked and I can't think of anything

I was hoping for the light that will never come to me
I was hoping for the warm that will never near to me

Burning flame - Created on 28th December 2007

The burning flame that surrounded me
It won't keep still
It burn as desired

Solely depends from deep inside of me
From my soul
And from my mind

as I watch myself in the mirror
Trying to understand myself
Trying to figure out myself

Am I a stranger?
Am I an enemy?

Who ever I want myself to be
It depends solely on me

The Rain - Created on 27th June 2008

After the rain stopped
There may not be any rainbow
But there will definitely be the sun
Shining down on you

So why you still showed that sad face
When there are still miracle and surprises
Waiting to surface and roll down towards you
You just need to feel and grab them

Yes, may be your heart still ached
For all the things that happened till now
But remember things will not stayed that long
Because you will find happiness that you will sure find

Lost - Created on 11th August 2007

I was lost in the middle of the sea
No where to be found
No where to be seen

There is nothing above me
That I know for sure
For I've clearly see

But what's below me
I don't really know
And I'm sure that I don't really want to know

I'm gasping the breath that's running out of me
I'm grabbing the life that is running out of time

With tears in my eyes
And every little bit of hope that was still inside of me
I'm holding to my life


Tell me how - Created on 9th February 2008

This heart of mine
Please tell me how
How should I feel

Why am I angry
Over the things that I can't reach

This mind of mine
Please tell me how
How should I think

Why am I angry
Over the things that I can't control

Monday 17 November 2008

I've come from a far - Created on 2nd May 2007

I've come from a far
Far from my home
Far from my family
Far from my friends

I've come with nothing
Except for
Shattered pieces of my heart
And a little bit of hope that I held in my hand

I'm a stranger to the surrounding
I'm a stranger to the people
I'm a stranger to the land
I'm a stranger to my self

I don't know where to start
I don't know how to start
I don't know how long it will take me
I don't know how it's going to end

But I realized that
There will be nobody to save me
There will be nobody to help me
There will be nobody to show me

I can only cry my heart out in the dark
And shout to the wind that pass me by

I can only smile back every time I've cried
And stand up every time I fell down

I closed my eyes for a very long time
Seeing the darkness inside of me
Feeling the shattered pieces of my heart that still beating in side of me
I clutch my fist and held the remaining little bit of hope

I was nobody to them but I realized that
That it doesn't really matter
What am I to my self is the most important
I my self is the treasure

A Single Word - Created on 11th August 2007

A blank piece of paper
Is all that I could stare at
The pen that is still stiff in my hand
Unable to move even an inch

Why can’t I write even a single word
A single word is all I ask for

You are so close in front of me
Is all that I could stare at
My mouth that closed tight in me
Unable to utter even a word

Why can’t I say even a single word
A single word is all I ask for

My heart is a fortress
My feeling is a dungeon
How can I afford to move closer to you
When I can’t even save my self

Why can’t I let go even a single word
A single word is all I ask for

Daughter to Mom

I only call mom once a week
Am I a not so good daughter or
Am I a lazy one
Guess both of them

But
What ever the reason still need to call mom
Need to ask mom, what's bothering her
Need to tell mom, what's bothering me
Need to comfort mom and
Need mom's comfort

Sometimes I still need to tell mom
Don't worry about me here
Sometimes I still need mom's voice saying
Don't worry about anything there

No matter what
Mom will always be the best person on the planet


Sunday 16 November 2008

No news, yet.

Waiting in front of the shop
Chilled autumn air blowing at it's will
It's really cold tonight
I didn't have my jacket with me

Still no news
What should I do?
Wait another day that I've been told
Shivering.......
It's still cold tonight
And become colder as I stand still
Wait another day.....

No one step forward today
Not yet.....
Not until I have the news
Still hoping
I will wait for tomorrow
Patiently

Now, I go for dinner.

Today, I go to Work

Fancy waking up nearly everyday at five something in the morning.
What wrong with me now? Becoming a really morning person?
Anyway after having a really really bad week last week, I hope this week will be better.

Atleast.

I have high hope.
hoping today I can get some good news.
The news I've been waiting for.
For the things I've should have done last year.
Today, if I receive the good news.
I can think for my next step.
Not only think but I can move one step forward.
Hoping..........
Please............

So today.....
Hoping for be able to move forward atleast one step.

Before that in reality..... I need to go to work.

So today, I go to work.


Saturday 15 November 2008

What is Life at early stage of my life.

I start my life by hating life itself.
I start my life by being angry all the time.
I start my life wanting to crush everything.
I start my life by doing everything opposite being told.