Sacrifice and Pain

Sacrifice and pain.

They came hand in hand. The sacrifice that I will make is the pain that I'm letting go. But why do I feels like my heart is being ripped off. Why is it letting go this pain hurts me this much. I feels like dying but I can't.

Not yet.

A small voice somewhere inside of me whispering in a low voice. My wound is so old and my scars are all over the place. What is the reasons of this battling that never ends until now. What is my path leading me to. I don't know. Nobody knows. But I need to brace myself and step forward. One step at a time. I may stumble. I may stumble again and again. I will start this new journey of my life no matter what. At least that is what my heart tells me. This decision that I take. Is not mine alone. Nobody knows and it doesn't matter. At least I know. I hope that the sacrifice that I made now will heal my heart and wash away the pain.

May be somewhere in future I will claim my happiness that have been waiting for me to embrace.

My Second Best

You're confused as one may say about theirs

You're are complicated as other might say

My life is just like that as far as I knew

No onions need to be peeled and no layers to be seen

I just deal and live with my second best

And protect all my loves one from the best of me

Even if you search you will not find it

Because the one who is hiding it is no one but me

Question and Answer II

Sometimes.

I don't really ask questions that I already knew the answers.

Somehow.

I don't really ask questions just for the sake of asking.

Someday.

You will realise that you should have answered them.

Lie to me

Nobody tells us life is full of lies

But somehow we learn life the way it is

You know it and I know it

You make believe what you want me to believe

Nobody talks about honor anymore

Anybody care about owning back anything

Was it worth it at the end

Was it worth till the end

Own Back Myself

Slowly I'm regaining back my thoughts

As I put a pause in my current time

Stop moving forwards and letting go the past

Feeling back the pain in my heart

Embracing myself from deep inside

Breathing in and out in silence

Listening to my own heart beat and feeling the pulse

As my energy moving like the ocean wave

I emerge back from this state of unconsciousness

Stupid could I be but it won't stay long

Because wiser that I have become

Everytime I woke up and own back myself

Not in Someone Else

Losing myself again

Lost in thought and life became restless again

My heart showing the sign of uneasiness

Looking down at my feet

Trying to figure out this heavy weight

That I put myself into

And carrying around my shoulders

Am I'm true to myself

Hoping to find

The will and the strength of an eagle

Not in someone else

Patient

Being patient is what I am to you

No reason is what I gave to you

Waiting to bloom is what you are

Is what I felt and it is still as strong

As it first felt long time ago

The moment I decided to be patient

To guide and to protect a heart

To be by the side through all weathers

Still I have no answer to your question

Because what being seek is not the answer

You will understand when the time comes

You will feel it and embrace your self

The joy in your heart and the balance in your life

The day your wings spread out and fly into the sky

You will smile when you look down to the earth below

Beautiful landscape and beautiful life

Flying towards the horizon is what you will do

Endless journey with all your hearts

You will find you