Enjoying my friend's blog

Was enjoying my friend's blog. Totally different from my blog. I guess although we are friends but we are totally two different person. Two different character and two different ways of thinking. But we respect each other ways and enjoy each others company.

Enjoy is the key word.

My good friend's mother passed away

A few days ago, my good friend informed me that her mother passed away last saturday. I understand her pain and I understand also that she has been very tough all this time. I pray that Allah blessed her mother's soul. I pray that life will be easy on her in future.

My heart still the same

There are things that will never be the same

But my heart will always be the same

Although it looks like somehow different

Although it seems like somehow different

What I care, I still cared

Whom I care, I still cared

Torture Chamber

Time to time

My chamber is full

Sometimes slow

Sometimes fast

It depends

On who I am with

On where I have been

Still....

I can't cope until this day

When my chamber is full

A torture to my self

Losing my mind

And losing my self

Which...

I can't explain why

I can't explain how

It may be belongs to you

But I can't say it

May be it's you that

Have been torturing me

But I can't say it

Because....

I am the place

Where people dump

Their emotional pain

Their physical pain

I am a dumping ground

Their dumping ground

They dump and they go

They might not know

They might also know

Leaving me alone

With my torture chamber

Until it full by it self

Leaving me insane

By my own

Second Opinion

A few weeks ago, I've been very angry. Angry at everything and angry at myself. I could not think clearly and wishing I could blame others if I could. Sleepless night and I can't really enjoy my life, anywhere I was. Either alone or with friends. I felt that I was wronged and it should not be that way.

I need a second opinion and I talk to friends. Being a manipulator is half what I am. Friends agreed with me and still I'm not satisfied. Somethings wrong because my heart is still not at ease. Still feeling angry and frustrated. Wish I could blame someone. Wish I could give up and go. But still, something unclear and something unfinished.

I still need another opinion which is not bias. Who will not be bias in this situation. At last I called my mom and explain to her my situation. Seeking a wise and experience words which I need to hear either I favour them or not.

I am at the wrong side as my mom said. I am selfish and un considerable as my mom said. I should have mercy and considerate even I like it or not as she continued advising me. My mom said that pain words comes from pain heart and soul. They comes out unintentionally. They may regret later but they can't help it when it happens. What ever people do to you, don't do the same things to others.

My mom did not bias nor favour me. Indeed wise words although I'm reluctant to accept at first. But what she said is the truth and the fact which I need to accept and change my way of thinking. Changing my way of thinking suddenly put my heart at ease.