After being down for a few days, I realised that only I can bring myself up again. Need to stand back no matter how many times I fell down. It's not easy because every time feels like the first time. Too hard to think back. Too hard to realise back. Too hard to stand back again. No matter what, still need to regain back myself.
Saw a friend in the morning. Still seeing the cautious words and fence up so high. Selective words and control facial movement. Hard life and striving hard. Pulling and pushing at the same time. Control situasion but with un-control vibration in the air. I wish I can help but there is some that I can't interfere. But I'm willing to take in the physical pain if I need to so that my friend will be able to finish her works.
Anyway, I've got to go to another friend's house. The weather is too hot and I have no vehicle. Although I have big ego and pride, it's not helping me at this time. Calling for help from another friend for a ride will do me good.
Good brunch and get together with friends really is fun. My favorite dishes of all time with my favorite friends. And a toddler kept staring at me most of the time. I was laughing because he kept staring at me every time he sees me. He was staring at me a few weeks ago also. What did he sees? When I was hoping for some guy can't let his eyes of me and I found a toddler can't let his eyes of me. Funny.
Anyway, I braced my self telling my friends that I'm able to feels others emotion and able to ease the normal physical pain by touching. I was ready for comments and rejection from them. But today is my day so far. Not only they found it's amusing, I ended up touching and light rubbing their back one by one. When a friend said that I like having a vampire power and it's was funny and I feels so relax. What ever vampire or mutant, I'm just a human with lots of disabilities. I thank GOD for all the life and the given so far. Although sometimes I can't see or unable to accept what I am. I thank GOD for what I am.
