Become stronger

I'm touching my heart from the inside

Trying to start a conversation

Between a mind and a heart

To understand and to console

To become one as one soul

It's okay to be scared and afraid

But can you become stronger

It's okay to be uncertain and weak

But again can you become stronger

Be like the rest

Trying to be skeptic

My world doesn't make sense

What should I believe

Where do I go from here

What is my next step

I'm lost in my own world

From dawn to sunset

From sunset to dawn

I will never be like the rest

I have no will to become stronger

Don't step into my world.

Don't come into my life.

Sometimes I'm tired of what I am

I want to get out as I can't cope with my own self

It's like a dream without an end

Like a ship without a skipper

I'm drifting away far away from the shore

I'm washing away far away from reality

I'm afraid of my own ability

I'm also afraid of what I can do

Don't want to be stronger although it's what I should do

As I'm afraid the test and responsibility will be greater

Need to do this

Still feels so exhausted and weak. I have no strength for the day. I have no strength to lift up my magic scissors. I have tears in my eyes as I gather the remaining strength to cut the invisible string. Why is it so hard for me today. Anyhow, I need to do what I need to do no matter how hard it is. 

Finding back myself

I woke up this morning feeling lost. I could not sense myself inside of me. It's a crowded room inside of me full of emotions and energies of humans from last night function. Closing my eyes for a very long time and searching back one by one until I finally find back the familiar face in the crowded faces of friends and strangers.

I am a Pretender

I feels so deep

Yet I pretend that I don't care

I care so much

Yet I pretend that I'm heartless

I know so much

Yet I pretend that I know nothing

Freedom to choose

From far I heard the echos of the crying wind searching it's way to my heart. Again and again until I myself lost in the middle of myself. I seek and I learned how to save myself and my heart. Until a few days back finally I learned and able to cut this unseen bond because I care. I'm free to choose and I'm free to care.